Just because I post videos of myself dancing, laughing and giving out positive tips, doesn't mean I don't get depressed, anxious or stressed. Everyone has bad days, but when faced with adversity turning negative situations into learning opportunities is a must-have skillset. Therefore, I want to share my thought process when I'm not feeling my best and how the power of perspective can change our outlook and attitude towards uncomfortable events.
We cannot avoid facing events that will make us sad or angry, neither can we control when these events are going to happen. Let's say your boss told you to work extra hours this week and this annoys you because you really wanted to hit the gym after work, but it's no longer possible.
Option A: Getting mad at your boss, treating her with a cold shoulder for the rest of the week, bad-mounthing her with your co-workers, and not working out as you had planned. This is a downward spiral of negative thoughts and actions.
Option B: Accepting the extra-work as an opportunity to show your ability to multi-task and get the job done, using this moment to set the tone for the rest of the office to follow your lead and become more productive, cultivate your own resilience and control your anger or frustration when things don't go your way. Waking up earlier to go to the gym despite the change of plans.
We can probably guess by now the outcome of both situations. One is going to foster a hostile work environment and emotional state while the other will make you feel productive and accomplished. All we did was shift our mentality from "I have no control over my life & will complain accordingly" to "I take whatever is given and make it better". This empowers us because, although the event is not the best possible outcome, you consciously decided to turn it around and make it the best possible outcome, regardless. Therefore, I am happy not because bad things never happen to me, but because I strive to find a way to make unpleasant situations a learning experience (or a joke).
3 tips that have helped me shift my perspective when life doesn't go my way:
2. Adopt a "I'm going to make it work, regardless" mentality. Once you step into the mindset of a warrior, there aren't many things that can take you down. Not everything will go as planned, but we have to accept and move on. The faster we do this, the quicker we learn the lesson. Cultivate a warrior mentality by listening to the most empowering song on your Spotify before leaving your house.
Bad girls - MIA
Fuerza- Mala Rodriguez
Pa Mala Yo- Natti Natasha
Independent Woman - Destiny's Child
Fronteamos Porque Podemos - De La Ghetto
3. Minimize complaints. We create an aura of negativity around us when we complain. People will speak highly of you when, despite adversities, you stand strong and do what has to be done, rather than ruin the atmosphere around you with your complaints. Practice the art of 'non-complaining' by taking five deep breathes when you know you are about to begin this toxic habit of complaining. Close your eyes and focus on the inhale and exhale of your breathe. You will feel more at peace. If you still feel the desire to whine after the five breathes, take five more.